Renaissance Trophy Wife

modern lifestyle investments for women who want it all

Hello, my name is reality (part I)

Posted by RenaissanceTrophyWife on February 4, 2010

I’ve been blogging for a while but only alluded to some of my past.  This material is heavier stuff than I normally post but I felt like I couldn’t discuss my future without the relevant context.  So, my blog will be taking a slightly different turn for the moment.  Welcome inside my head.

**Certain elements of this story have been changed to protect patient privacy.**

I was 17 when I met them.

She was the quintessential blond, blue-eyed all-American girl next door, captain of the cheer squad with doting parents and 3 little brothers who hung on her every word.  He was a Hispanic kid from South Central with a quick wit, soulful brown eyes, and an enormous extended family, including abuelas who could fix anything with their legendary cooking.

In the land of the silver screen and dreams come true, it wasn’t such a stretch to imagine that they would cross paths eventually.  A bystander at the intersection, I was privy to a remarkable scene that encompassed those  themes explored in the great novels of our time– love, life, and loss.  This is their story, as I witnessed it.

*****

I was there when they collided, literally, in the ED (emergency dept).  She was airlifted in and arrived on a backboard, her dilated pupils causing her blue eyes to appear black, but somehow she remained calm– from fear? from disbelief?– as we sliced through her drenched summer clothes and placed lines to bolus fluids and meds through her vessels.  The abrupt halt of sirens punctuated by a crashing door gave only seconds notice before another gurney careened into the trauma bay and into the middle of our team, demanding attention.

The newcomer was drenched too, but in crimson fluid unstaunched by a Matterhorn of blankets.  Sheets maybe?  As the group divided into two complete but smaller entities, amoeba-like, to attend to both casualties, I couldn’t distinguish the beginnings and ends of the wrappings, but it didn’t matter.  Trauma shears made short work of the macabre paper mache while the histories came through in patches, like a TV with bad reception between channels.

18-year-old caucasian female, no known drug allergies…

…he was just coming home from summer school and playing with his siblings….

…She has lower limb sensory and motor deficits…likely vertebral fracture…

16-year-old hispanic male, no known drug allergies, presents with severe crush injury…

…Jumped into a lake and she barely touched the bottom… Estimated 40-ft height…

…The hammock was supported by a concrete pillar, which toppled…took an hour to get it off him…

And the hushed words continued to swirl, mingling with the sobs and plaintive questions from the waiting room.  We hung units of blood, confirmed OR prep, and readied for the mad dash through the corridors.  I tucked myself out of the way, taking care not to stand in the path to the doors, and in one small space between the alarms, she looked at me and asked, “it’s bad, huh?”

Confronted in my spattered scrubs and filthy shoe covers, I could only manage, “I’m not a doctor, but they’ll do their very best for you,” before the gurneys swept off in a parting sea of surgeons.

In the voided trauma bay I picked my way to the sink over the Jackson Pollock floor.  My exhalation echoed the whoosh of water from the faucet, incongruous in a space that had just witnessed its umpteenth episode of controlled chaos.  It felt as if I’d forgotten to breathe for the entire time.  The meant-to-be-comforting squeeze from the charge nurse and my few deep breaths only provided marginal relief, but like a shark, you have to keep moving.  The unspoken rule was, if you stop someone else dies.

As I headed blurrily towards the operating suite, even the running litany of to-dos couldn’t shut myself out of my head.

Head to OR, pull gloves for the residents, look up old charts–

you know, that could be you–

find films, check labs–

or your brother or cousins–

get the other teams up to speed, run the new blood upstairs–

there but for the grace of god….go I.

Yes.  Yes, I know.  But this is not the time for that, not when they’re on the table and in for the fight of their lives. This comes later.  Keep moving.

So I pulled on a mask, drew another breath (such a simple thing I took for granted) and stepped through the doors to the OR.

Posted in Retrospectives | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

Managing Stress

Posted by RenaissanceTrophyWife on January 24, 2010

As a child, I used to stress out before auditions, some tests, performances, you name it.  My mom taught me breathing/meditative techniques that helped, but what has really enabled me to control stress as an adult is the perspective I gained during my time in medicine.  I’m not talking about the tests they gave us, though.  There is nothing like spending time in the trenches in the hospital, and I haven’t discussed it too specifically yet because it’s taken some distance to reflect well on how it affected me.

There’s still a recurring series of vignettes that play back in my head, stories both heartbreaking and hopeful that are indelibly imprinted on my consciousness.  All it takes is some quiet space, maybe a line in a news article, or an ad campaign to bring the faces of my patients and their families back to the forefront of my attention.  I’m grateful for all I’ve learned, but also grateful not to be going through such emotional turmoil on a daily basis.

And so whenever I’m confronted with a particularly contrary client, an obnoxious customer service rep, or a frustrating negotiation, I take a deep breath and envision how I’d feel if I knew the whole picture.  What if they’re a patient?  Or dealing with the illness of someone close to them?  I’ve seen how bad it can get, and how close some can get to the breaking point.  Giving people the benefit of the doubt goes a long way in helping me diffuse my frustration and respond in a calm, collected manner.  However much posturing and yelling may occur during the day, it’s not a life and death situation.

Looking ahead to the next milestones in my adulthood– marriage, advancing my career, having kids– I know that there will be both joy and sadness.  The lessons I learned in my early 20s will help me address challenges in a constructive manner, take pleasure in successes, and grow into a role model for my future children.  But most of all, I want to embrace all those moments fully, taste them on the back of my tongue and absorb them into my skin, celebrate the fact that no matter when the story comes to an end, I can still write the adventure within.  And that, as Jon Stewart would say, is my moment of zen.

Posted in Carpe Diem, Retrospectives | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

And the madness begins

Posted by RenaissanceTrophyWife on January 21, 2010

So now that we’re planning our wedding (gulp), I’m trying not to get totally overwhelmed with all the blogs and magazines and sources of inspiration out there.  BUT, I saw these on ideeli and couldn’t help thinking of a certain event.

I love these simple but elegant options for a rehearsal dinner dress:

And these would look fab on my bridesmaids.  I kinda want one for myself, and they’d be super rewearable, too.  I don’t think it comes out on the far right dress, but there are sweet rosettes on the front.  So pretty!

That’s not the best part– they’re all <$70!  No, I didn’t leave off a zero. And there are dozens of other cute cocktail dresses to boot.

What do you think?  Which one would you prefer to wear as a bridesmaid?  I might just bite the bullet…

Click here for an invitation to the site.

(All photos courtesy of ideeli.)

Posted in Trust fund, baby!, Who's Your Stylist? | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

Summer in winter

Posted by RenaissanceTrophyWife on January 18, 2010

“In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” -Camus

In the depths of a chilly winter, I wanted a contrast to all the squash-focused and root vegetable dishes, and hearty meals that mark the season until the groundhog sees his shadow.  Since it’s crab season, I decided to take on a different kind of work this weekend– shelling my own fresh crab.  Yum!

I picked up 3 smallish crabs, planning at first to make crab cakes with cucumber-mango salsa, but then decided to go with a less work-intensive version.  The crunch of cucumber goes so well with the softer mango and the sweetness of the crab.  And I love a kick of pepper to spice things up– just the thing to satisfy a warm weather craving!

Summer Crab Salad

All the proportions here are approximate and can be adjusted to taste.

1/2 large English cucumber, peeled and diced

2 mangoes, peeled, pitted and diced

1/2 lb crab meat (Approximately 1.5lbs whole crab)

1/2 tsp cayenne powder

1/2 tsp paprika

juice of 2 limes

sea salt and pepper to taste

Prepare the cucumber and mangoes first, and toss with salt, cayenne, and paprika before letting it rest in the fridge.  The cucumber will release water while you shell the crab; drain the excess liquid when you are ready to add the crab.  Fold in the crab, dress with lime juice, adjust seasonings.  Serve on a bed of lettuce with fresh French bread on the side.

Posted in Apple a Day, Domestic Diva | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

It’s still boot season

Posted by RenaissanceTrophyWife on January 16, 2010

I love my warm, cozy boots… but I don’t love how my jeans or leggings get scrunched up inside the shaft of the boot.

Thanks to the $1 bin at Target, I’ve had a cheap, easy way to keep my pants snugly tucked inside my boots for the entire winter.  Mitten holders to the rescue!  Turn up the cuff of your jeans, attach these like a stirrup, and you’re set.

Hm, these look suspiciously like the stirrups sold at Stirrupz.com ($25) or JeanStraps.com ($10) but are a fraction of the price.  Target for the win!

Anyways, looks like we’re in for some more cold weather, but at least my toes will be toasty inside my boots– and I know my jeans will stay put.  If/when these wear out they could be replicated pretty easily, too.

Any bargain finds prove surprisingly useful this winter?  Share your faves!

Posted in Who's Your Stylist? | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »