Renaissance Trophy Wife

Ennui: A gripping listlessness or melancholia caused by boredom; depression.

I like the word ennui.  It’s just so…  Gatsby.  While I’m exercising my melodramatic license in using it to describe my last few months (and extended blogging hiatus), it’s not something new to me.  Or, for that matter, to those who’ve known me for the last quarter-century or so.

Let me contextualize this discussion by saying that I fully understand how fortunate I am to have my health, a job, and a fantastic family and group of friends.  By no means am I depressed about my life, I was just exceedingly bored with work.

In some circles, I might be labeled Type A– which is both spot on and dead wrong.  I don’t mind working hard, especially for a cause I’m passionate about, but I really hate dedicating time and energy to inefficient processes that get nowhere.  And I also resent working when I don’t learn anything.  At that point, my lazy Type B side takes over and I’m more than happy to sit around and smell the roses.

Let me tell you, if there is something to be gleaned from a situation, I will try to find it, but despite my best efforts to keep my mind engaged at work, I couldn’t extract any lessons more enlightening than, “This is a great example of how to run a firm into the ground.”  Frustration and a desperate need for change are great motivators, however, and thus my plan to abolish ennui was born, with no more defined goal than to get myself un-bored and into a situation that I could sink my teeth into and be passionate about.

A younger self  might have decided to  take time off to soul-search and travel, but evaluating that option in this economic environment quickly convinced me that there was something I could do to kick this bout of boredom in the @ss without putting myself at unnecessary financial risk.

The logical answer?  Look for another job. Much easier said than done, especially when looking for an upgrade.  Interesting how that turned out…  I’ll share in an upcoming post.