If you missed part I, click here.
Progress is gauged by the level of music in the OR. Routine procedure? ipod blaring. Tough cases have a soundtrack consisting of crisp orders and little else.
Both suites were vacuum-like and breathless. After 8 hours in the OR, my residents sent me home even though the repairs weren’t close to being finished. Even the senior guys were standing around observing since there was no room to assist the attendings crowded at the table like drunk bachelors bellied up to a Vegas bar. The look of desperation was the same, too. You don’t know fear until you’ve seen the premiere surgical talent in the country get tense around the eyes. And then start shaking their heads.
I couldn’t believe it was the same city, same day, same life I’d woken up to.
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The following dawn I saw both of them. In the ICU, he was suffering from acute renal failure, and all the blood products and iv fluids were being retained, distending a formerly athletic physique into an amorphous mass. Down the hall, her neuro exam hadn’t improved although the vertebral fracture was repaired, and chances of her regaining function were slim. Our rounds were a grim affair, led by surgeons who’d aged years overnight.
When we were done checking in on everyone, I went back to check on them. He would be out for a long time, but she was up, with completely bloodshot eyes and crumpled tissues scattered across the floor. I peeked in, not wanting to disturb her, and was greeted with a weak, “Hey.”
Three steps to her bedside closed the distance and simultaneously opened up an undeniable chasm between us. As I started, “Can I do anything for you–” her eyes welled with tears. And so I sat there, passing her tissues and trying to ignore the aching in my chest that gave me the answer to the unasked question: “How would you feel if it was you?”
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“Visitors aren’t allowed for another two hours.” The nurse’s face softened with recognition as I turned back towards the door at her announcement. “I thought you were one of her classmates, sweetie. Never mind.”
