Renaissance Trophy Wife

modern lifestyle investments for women who want it all

Archive for the ‘Carpe Diem’ Category

General posts of interest

Managing Stress

Posted by RenaissanceTrophyWife on January 24, 2010

As a child, I used to stress out before auditions, some tests, performances, you name it.  My mom taught me breathing/meditative techniques that helped, but what has really enabled me to control stress as an adult is the perspective I gained during my time in medicine.  I’m not talking about the tests they gave us, though.  There is nothing like spending time in the trenches in the hospital, and I haven’t discussed it too specifically yet because it’s taken some distance to reflect well on how it affected me.

There’s still a recurring series of vignettes that play back in my head, stories both heartbreaking and hopeful that are indelibly imprinted on my consciousness.  All it takes is some quiet space, maybe a line in a news article, or an ad campaign to bring the faces of my patients and their families back to the forefront of my attention.  I’m grateful for all I’ve learned, but also grateful not to be going through such emotional turmoil on a daily basis.

And so whenever I’m confronted with a particularly contrary client, an obnoxious customer service rep, or a frustrating negotiation, I take a deep breath and envision how I’d feel if I knew the whole picture.  What if they’re a patient?  Or dealing with the illness of someone close to them?  I’ve seen how bad it can get, and how close some can get to the breaking point.  Giving people the benefit of the doubt goes a long way in helping me diffuse my frustration and respond in a calm, collected manner.  However much posturing and yelling may occur during the day, it’s not a life and death situation.

Looking ahead to the next milestones in my adulthood– marriage, advancing my career, having kids– I know that there will be both joy and sadness.  The lessons I learned in my early 20s will help me address challenges in a constructive manner, take pleasure in successes, and grow into a role model for my future children.  But most of all, I want to embrace all those moments fully, taste them on the back of my tongue and absorb them into my skin, celebrate the fact that no matter when the story comes to an end, I can still write the adventure within.  And that, as Jon Stewart would say, is my moment of zen.

Posted in Carpe Diem, Retrospectives | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Ringing in the New Year

Posted by RenaissanceTrophyWife on January 10, 2010

Hi.  Remember me?

The end of 2009 was ridiculous with deals closing, the holidays, a computer meltdown, and a little surprise.

My resolutions?  Well, for one, to blog more consistently.  Now that I’ve got a sweet little netbook to replace my old computer, I will be much more diligent!   Here’s to a rocking 2010.

xoxo,

RTW

Posted in Carpe Diem | Tagged: , | 4 Comments »

Emerging from Ennui

Posted by RenaissanceTrophyWife on August 29, 2009

Ennui: A gripping listlessness or melancholia caused by boredom; depression.

I like the word ennui.  It’s just so…  Gatsby.  While I’m exercising my melodramatic license in using it to describe my last few months (and extended blogging hiatus), it’s not something new to me.  Or, for that matter, to those who’ve known me for the last quarter-century or so.

Let me contextualize this discussion by saying that I fully understand how fortunate I am to have my health, a job, and a fantastic family and group of friends.  By no means am I depressed about my life, I was just exceedingly bored with work.

In some circles, I might be labeled Type A– which is both spot on and dead wrong.  I don’t mind working hard, especially for a cause I’m passionate about, but I really hate dedicating time and energy to inefficient processes that get nowhere.  And I also resent working when I don’t learn anything.  At that point, my lazy Type B side takes over and I’m more than happy to sit around and smell the roses.

Let me tell you, if there is something to be gleaned from a situation, I will try to find it, but despite my best efforts to keep my mind engaged at work, I couldn’t extract any lessons more enlightening than, “This is a great example of how to run a firm into the ground.”  Frustration and a desperate need for change are great motivators, however, and thus my plan to abolish ennui was born, with no more defined goal than to get myself un-bored and into a situation that I could sink my teeth into and be passionate about.

A younger self  might have decided to  take time off to soul-search and travel, but evaluating that option in this economic environment quickly convinced me that there was something I could do to kick this bout of boredom in the @ss without putting myself at unnecessary financial risk.

The logical answer?  Look for another job. Much easier said than done, especially when looking for an upgrade.  Interesting how that turned out…  I’ll share in an upcoming post.

Posted in Career Chick, Carpe Diem | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

I’m Back!

Posted by RenaissanceTrophyWife on August 8, 2009

Hola readers–

Sorry I’ve been absent for so long.   A long string of complicated client deals at work, plus some interesting job opportunities (that I didn’t end up taking– more later), new extracurriculars, and the jam-packed summer wedding circuit have made it really difficult for me to sit down and blog about everything in a timely fashion.

Thanks to those of you who still stop by, and welcome to the new peeps!  I appreciate the comments and will be slowly getting back up to speed in the blogosphere as life sorts itself out.   I’ve got lots to share and also to catch up on…

In the meantime,  a pic of Angora Lakes near South Lake Tahoe…  we were up here a couple weekends ago and loved the gorgeous scenery and great swimming.  I highly recommend it if you’re in the area!

xoxo,

RTW

Posted in Carpe Diem | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

The End: Getting to “Rich” (Part I)

Posted by RenaissanceTrophyWife on May 25, 2009

This post is part of a miniseries on my quarterlife (re)invention process.  I left off discussing my strategy of beginning at the end, and the next few posts will provide more detail on the various goals I’m working towards.  If you’re evaluating your life in a similar manner, maybe some of this will strike a chord… and if you’ve got things figured out, please feel free to chime in with advice!  Without further ado:

My first goal is to be rich.

Not rich in the sense of Warren Buffett/Donald Trump– although that would be nice– but rich in the context of my own life.  Frankly I consider it “being comfortable” rather than “being rich,”  but I also realize that I am already incredibly wealthy in comparison to individuals in developing nations, and I might as well recognize that the ideals I strive for encompass far more than the basic necessities.  Why is this the first goal I’ve chosen?  It’s not more important than health or happiness, but the metrics are much easier to track.  Also, all three are intertwined, and I have to start somewhere.

Lack of money can create stress, force uncomfortable decisions, and generally introduce quite a bit of uncertainty into life.  While more money does not necessarily make you happier beyond a certain point, having enough money for the basics may allow you to escape some stressors and generally lead a more fulfilling life.

Early on (say about 8th grade?), I realized that in order to feel secure, I needed to achieve a level of earning power that would not limit my options– to learn, to travel, to make a positive impact in my community.  That’s a vague goal, to be sure, but it’s one that works for me personally.  Money is only as good as what you spend it on, and although it’s backwards in a way, I’ll start with a focus on the spending part and follow up with dollar estimates in a later post.

Money and Family

Today, many families are forced to choose between an education for their children, or nursing care for aging parents. As early as high school, my female peers started talking about  marrying rich, instead of marrying for love.  Maybe I was more idealistic than most at that age, but hearing such sentiments just rubbed me the wrong way.   I’ve also witnessed firsthand the devastation of families when the primary wage-earner has a catastrophic accident, and can no longer work– in the worst cases, social services gets involved, children are placed in foster care, and both parents spiral into depression.  (I’m not referring to my own family, thank goodness, but to patients I’d cared for throughout my clinical years.)

I’m not afraid to admit that I’m scared of having to make such a decision.  I don’t believe that Social Security or Medicare will actually provide any benefit to my parents’ generation, let alone my own.  And you know what?  I may be overly cautious, but confronting that fear and taking steps to prevent it go a long way toward my psychological security.

I felt that I would be ready for a family only when I could provide for all of us on my salary alone.  Maybe this is more of a masculine perspective, but that begs the question, why should it be? The females of most species tend to be the nurturing, caring ones, seeing to the needs of family members.  Why, in a money-based economy, should that responsibility not extend to financial nurturing and caring?

Money and Love

For all my pragmatism, I’m also an unabashed romantic.  Even before I wanted to settle down in a serious relationship, I kept thinking, “What if my perfect man is an penniless artist/writer/musician?”  If push came to shove, and I had to make a choice between an amazing partner who couldn’t support himself, and someone ok who was more responsible, I’m not really sure I could find an effective compromise.  My financial goals were designed to avoid that crossroads, and luckily I found the perfect partner who is creative AND responsible.  He also happens to be financially savvy and either one of us could support a family on our salary alone.

Now that I’ve achieved a level of earnings that allow me to save significantly for retirement as well as healthcare costs, I feel a lot more comfortable.  Current goals include continuing to save towards retirement while increasing my nest egg for a down payment, and educational costs for our future children.

Money and Career

If I won the lottery tomorrow, I know exactly what I’d do with the money– I’d quit my current job but definitely wouldn’t stop working.  My work/life balance is quite enjoyable, and my personality is well-suited by having projects to keep my mind engaged.

While my job is currently a way for me to learn valuable transferable skills while furthering my financial goals, I want to get to a point where I can do good AND do well.  The golden handcuffs are ok for now, but by starting up my new social venture in parallel, I hope to transition sooner rather than later– ideally in the next several years.

Rich isn’t a number, it’s a state of mind.  I’m quite happy with my current situation, but as my environment changes, I must continue to adjust in order to maintain that level of contentment and security. Maybe you can’t buy happiness, but you can definitely earn it.

What does “rich” mean to you?

Image sources: 1, 2, 3

Posted in Career Chick, Carpe Diem, The RTW Tao, Trust fund, baby!, Venus & Mars | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »