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Gaining perspective

The End: Getting to “Rich” (Part I)

Posted by RenaissanceTrophyWife on May 25, 2009

This post is part of a miniseries on my quarterlife (re)invention process.  I left off discussing my strategy of beginning at the end, and the next few posts will provide more detail on the various goals I’m working towards.  If you’re evaluating your life in a similar manner, maybe some of this will strike a chord… and if you’ve got things figured out, please feel free to chime in with advice!  Without further ado:

My first goal is to be rich.

Not rich in the sense of Warren Buffett/Donald Trump– although that would be nice– but rich in the context of my own life.  Frankly I consider it “being comfortable” rather than “being rich,”  but I also realize that I am already incredibly wealthy in comparison to individuals in developing nations, and I might as well recognize that the ideals I strive for encompass far more than the basic necessities.  Why is this the first goal I’ve chosen?  It’s not more important than health or happiness, but the metrics are much easier to track.  Also, all three are intertwined, and I have to start somewhere.

Lack of money can create stress, force uncomfortable decisions, and generally introduce quite a bit of uncertainty into life.  While more money does not necessarily make you happier beyond a certain point, having enough money for the basics may allow you to escape some stressors and generally lead a more fulfilling life.

Early on (say about 8th grade?), I realized that in order to feel secure, I needed to achieve a level of earning power that would not limit my options– to learn, to travel, to make a positive impact in my community.  That’s a vague goal, to be sure, but it’s one that works for me personally.  Money is only as good as what you spend it on, and although it’s backwards in a way, I’ll start with a focus on the spending part and follow up with dollar estimates in a later post.

Money and Family

Today, many families are forced to choose between an education for their children, or nursing care for aging parents. As early as high school, my female peers started talking about  marrying rich, instead of marrying for love.  Maybe I was more idealistic than most at that age, but hearing such sentiments just rubbed me the wrong way.   I’ve also witnessed firsthand the devastation of families when the primary wage-earner has a catastrophic accident, and can no longer work– in the worst cases, social services gets involved, children are placed in foster care, and both parents spiral into depression.  (I’m not referring to my own family, thank goodness, but to patients I’d cared for throughout my clinical years.)

I’m not afraid to admit that I’m scared of having to make such a decision.  I don’t believe that Social Security or Medicare will actually provide any benefit to my parents’ generation, let alone my own.  And you know what?  I may be overly cautious, but confronting that fear and taking steps to prevent it go a long way toward my psychological security.

I felt that I would be ready for a family only when I could provide for all of us on my salary alone.  Maybe this is more of a masculine perspective, but that begs the question, why should it be? The females of most species tend to be the nurturing, caring ones, seeing to the needs of family members.  Why, in a money-based economy, should that responsibility not extend to financial nurturing and caring?

Money and Love

For all my pragmatism, I’m also an unabashed romantic.  Even before I wanted to settle down in a serious relationship, I kept thinking, “What if my perfect man is an penniless artist/writer/musician?”  If push came to shove, and I had to make a choice between an amazing partner who couldn’t support himself, and someone ok who was more responsible, I’m not really sure I could find an effective compromise.  My financial goals were designed to avoid that crossroads, and luckily I found the perfect partner who is creative AND responsible.  He also happens to be financially savvy and either one of us could support a family on our salary alone.

Now that I’ve achieved a level of earnings that allow me to save significantly for retirement as well as healthcare costs, I feel a lot more comfortable.  Current goals include continuing to save towards retirement while increasing my nest egg for a down payment, and educational costs for our future children.

Money and Career

If I won the lottery tomorrow, I know exactly what I’d do with the money– I’d quit my current job but definitely wouldn’t stop working.  My work/life balance is quite enjoyable, and my personality is well-suited by having projects to keep my mind engaged.

While my job is currently a way for me to learn valuable transferable skills while furthering my financial goals, I want to get to a point where I can do good AND do well.  The golden handcuffs are ok for now, but by starting up my new social venture in parallel, I hope to transition sooner rather than later– ideally in the next several years.

Rich isn’t a number, it’s a state of mind.  I’m quite happy with my current situation, but as my environment changes, I must continue to adjust in order to maintain that level of contentment and security. Maybe you can’t buy happiness, but you can definitely earn it.

What does “rich” mean to you?

Image sources: 1, 2, 3

Posted in Career Chick, Carpe Diem, The RTW Tao, Trust fund, baby!, Venus & Mars | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Beginning at the End

Posted by RenaissanceTrophyWife on April 26, 2009

For the past couple decades, I’ve had a 10-year+ career plan with definite endpoints:  get into medical school, graduate, finish residency +/- fellowship, make attending.

Ever since I abruptly truncated that plan a couple years ago post-graduation, my long-term focus has become, well, more unfocused.  I love the liberation from tests and schedules and deadlines, but it’s just my personality to feel more secure with a long-term goal.  Instead of being constrained by academic guidelines, I can now define my own timelines and take time to explore side paths along the way.  That’s not to say my goals won’t change, but at least I’ve got something to work towards.  Why start there?  An end is more easily influenced than a beginning.  Don’t know about you, but I haven’t figured out a way to turn back time.

What do I want?  For me,  a large component of happiness includes  autonomy.  I don’t like feeling hemmed in, and even mistakes are more palatable if they’re my own rather than a result of a forced choice.  Almost every decision I make is based upon the freedom it gives me to make smart investments at a future date.

More specifically, I want to be able to make valuable contributions to my community, and also enjoy the security of knowing that my family is provided for.  A lot of my perspective is colored by my experiences in healthcare– I’ve seen adults have to choose between supporting their aging parents or provide better opportunities for their children, and that’s a choice I don’t want to make.

My vision includes a great partner to enjoy life with, a house to raise our future children in, quality time spent with family and friends, and a challenging career that is both interesting and doesn’t exclude any of the previous things.  In essence, what I’m working toward is a feeling, not a set of material milestones.  While assets are undoubtably helpful in achieving security, money is only a means to an end.

Taking stock of my current position, I’m in good shape, considering I thought it would take me several more years to get here… but that’s all the more reason to continue working on the other elements.  Hence, my consideration of a career change (although not as drastic a shift as the previous one) even in this turbulent environment.   Sometimes the unexpected moves turn into the best opportunities.

So, plan your goals first, then figure out an exit strategy to get you there.  If you’re not certain of the endpoint, it helps to take a path that leaves the most number of attractive options open.  And even if you are certain, be flexible and remember to evaluate opportunities that come up along the way. Detours can lead to some pretty incredible sights you might’ve missed.

Related posts:

(Re)Invention Roadmap

Image from serafini on flickr

Posted in Career Chick, The RTW Tao, Venus & Mars | Tagged: , , , , , | 5 Comments »

(Re)Invention Roadmap

Posted by RenaissanceTrophyWife on April 12, 2009

With the upheaval in the financial industry, and looming instability of our healthcare system, I’ve been pondering my next steps in this environment.  My friends would exclaim, “Again?!?!” but smile and laugh that it’s so quintessentially RTW.  As a good friend once quipped, “You’re only predictable in your unpredictability.”

Image from Brittanica.

Evaluating my path as I traverse the distance from point A to point B is nothing new– I’ve also revised my destination enough that I’m more comfortable with change than stasis.  (A large portion of that can be attributed to my personality as well.)

However, I’m loath to call this next turning point, or any of the previous ones, a reinvention.  To me, that word is associated with mid-life crises, U-turns to correct ineffective decisions, and self-help books.  While reinvention is a useful process for those who have progressed too far in what they may see as the wrong direction, making the call to take the correct exit at the right time is an entirely different matter altogether.

I’ve yet to see an industry spring up around inventing yourself in a satisfying manner the first time around… and while I’ve made my share of mistakes, I think I’m young enough to escape the mid-life crisis label.  It’s all about perspective, right?

I prefer to think of my evaluation process as inventing my path forward, utilizing the various skills and knowledge I’ve gained to date,  rather than a revision of prior decisions that now need to be recast in a different light.  Maybe the distinction is subtle, but it has a considerable impact on the way I formulate my approach going forward.

Every time I make a career move, I get more introspective for a time, recrystallizing my story and highlighting the elements most relevant to my targeted future undertakings.   What better time to refocus the blog as I concentrate on my past and present strategies?

(Incidentally, I find it somewhat appropriate that I’m posting this on Easter, a day of resurrection.)

Would love comments/suggestions re lessons you’ve learned in similar situations, or particular topics I should highlight!

Posted in The RTW Tao | Tagged: , , , , , | 7 Comments »

Relocating for Love

Posted by RenaissanceTrophyWife on February 11, 2009

Since Valentine’s Day is coming up (even though we don’t celebrate) I thought this was an appropriate post…

Yes, objects are as close as they appear.

A year ago, this was the view from the front door of my SF bachelorette pad.  It was 3 blocks from restaurants, boutiques, and bars, and a block from the water.  Although the parking was a nightmare, overall it was the best city living I could ask for.  Great food, cool culture, and romantic adventures were all at my fingertips.

One thing made it difficult, though– the lack of my boyfriend.  Now, I definitely would consider myself highly independent, and not a clingy type at all.  But it got to the point where, on weeknights, I would come home late from work and just kill time watching TV or reading until our nightly phone call.  Although 20 minutes long, that phone call was my favorite part of the day, and I couldn’t unwind properly until I’d heard about his day and shared my stories with him.

Weekends were an emotional rollercoaster.  I loved the fact that we were together first thing in the morning, and last thing at night, but separating at the end of our precious two days together was so hard.  I kept telling myself that it was easier to have 2 apartments, it made more sense with our job locations, and there was really no rush to move in together.  While we started to talk about moving to a new apartment between our jobs, and even buying a house, circumstances intervened to make it most convenient and economical for me to move in with him.

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Posted in Retrospectives, The RTW Tao, Venus & Mars | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Recipe for Happiness: Just Add Time

Posted by RenaissanceTrophyWife on January 14, 2009

In the midst of double-booked meetings, anxious client emails, and international conference calls, I am actually doing fine this week.  While work is hectic, it’s only one part of my life– and a part that isn’t taking over the rest of my sanity.  In fact, I can honestly say I’m very happy right now.  Maybe that’s weird, and it may be partially due to my rehab from the trauma of academic medicine, but regardless, that’s how it is.

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Posted in Apple a Day, Career Chick, Domestic Diva, Retrospectives, The RTW Tao, Venus & Mars | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »