I love these simple but elegant options for a rehearsal dinner dress:

And these would look fab on my bridesmaids.  I kinda want one for myself, and they’d be super rewearable, too.  I don’t think it comes out on the far right dress, but there are sweet rosettes on the front.  So pretty!

That’s not the best part– they’re all <$70!  No, I didn’t leave off a zero. And there are dozens of other cute cocktail dresses to boot.

What do you think?  Which one would you prefer to wear as a bridesmaid?  I might just bite the bullet…

Click here for an invitation to the site.

(All photos courtesy of ideeli.)

My first goal is to be rich.

Not rich in the sense of Warren Buffett/Donald Trump– although that would be nice– but rich in the context of my own life.  Frankly I consider it “being comfortable” rather than “being rich,”  but I also realize that I am already incredibly wealthy in comparison to individuals in developing nations, and I might as well recognize that the ideals I strive for encompass far more than the basic necessities.  Why is this the first goal I’ve chosen?  It’s not more important than health or happiness, but the metrics are much easier to track.  Also, all three are intertwined, and I have to start somewhere.

Lack of money can create stress, force uncomfortable decisions, and generally introduce quite a bit of uncertainty into life.  While more money does not necessarily make you happier beyond a certain point, having enough money for the basics may allow you to escape some stressors and generally lead a more fulfilling life.

Early on (say about 8th grade?), I realized that in order to feel secure, I needed to achieve a level of earning power that would not limit my options– to learn, to travel, to make a positive impact in my community.  That’s a vague goal, to be sure, but it’s one that works for me personally.  Money is only as good as what you spend it on, and although it’s backwards in a way, I’ll start with a focus on the spending part and follow up with dollar estimates in a later post.

Money and Family

Today, many families are forced to choose between an education for their children, or nursing care for aging parents. As early as high school, my female peers started talking about  marrying rich, instead of marrying for love.  Maybe I was more idealistic than most at that age, but hearing such sentiments just rubbed me the wrong way.   I’ve also witnessed firsthand the devastation of families when the primary wage-earner has a catastrophic accident, and can no longer work– in the worst cases, social services gets involved, children are placed in foster care, and both parents spiral into depression.  (I’m not referring to my own family, thank goodness, but to patients I’d cared for throughout my clinical years.)

I’m not afraid to admit that I’m scared of having to make such a decision.  I don’t believe that Social Security or Medicare will actually provide any benefit to my parents’ generation, let alone my own.  And you know what?  I may be overly cautious, but confronting that fear and taking steps to prevent it go a long way toward my psychological security.

I felt that I would be ready for a family only when I could provide for all of us on my salary alone.  Maybe this is more of a masculine perspective, but that begs the question, why should it be? The females of most species tend to be the nurturing, caring ones, seeing to the needs of family members.  Why, in a money-based economy, should that responsibility not extend to financial nurturing and caring?

Money and Love

For all my pragmatism, I’m also an unabashed romantic.  Even before I wanted to settle down in a serious relationship, I kept thinking, “What if my perfect man is an penniless artist/writer/musician?”  If push came to shove, and I had to make a choice between an amazing partner who couldn’t support himself, and someone ok who was more responsible, I’m not really sure I could find an effective compromise.  My financial goals were designed to avoid that crossroads, and luckily I found the perfect partner who is creative AND responsible.  He also happens to be financially savvy and either one of us could support a family on our salary alone.

Now that I’ve achieved a level of earnings that allow me to save significantly for retirement as well as healthcare costs, I feel a lot more comfortable.  Current goals include continuing to save towards retirement while increasing my nest egg for a down payment, and educational costs for our future children.

Money and Career

If I won the lottery tomorrow, I know exactly what I’d do with the money– I’d quit my current job but definitely wouldn’t stop working.  My work/life balance is quite enjoyable, and my personality is well-suited by having projects to keep my mind engaged.

While my job is currently a way for me to learn valuable transferable skills while furthering my financial goals, I want to get to a point where I can do good AND do well.  The golden handcuffs are ok for now, but by starting up my new social venture in parallel, I hope to transition sooner rather than later– ideally in the next several years.

Rich isn’t a number, it’s a state of mind.  I’m quite happy with my current situation, but as my environment changes, I must continue to adjust in order to maintain that level of contentment and security. Maybe you can’t buy happiness, but you can definitely earn it.

What does “rich” mean to you?

Image sources: 1, 2, 3

That bad, huh?

Buffett’s strategy is to keep it simple.  He goes for companies with great fundamentals, and invests for the long term.  Granted, Buffett did acquire preferred shares of Goldman Sachs and GE, but at terms the rest of us can only dream about– 10% dividends are pretty attractive.

What about his perspective on riskier ventures?  “A line from a country song expresses our feeling about new ventures, turnarounds, or auction-like sales: ‘When the phone don’t ring, you’ll know it’s me.’”

It’s not as if he thinks he’s exempt– predictions for the growth of BRK aren’t rosy.  According to Dealbook, “Mr. Buffett said that he envisioned growth that was a couple of points or so above the Standard & Poor’s 500 index. He acknowledged that the much faster growth of the firm’s early days wasn’t likely to return.”  (For reference, book value per share has historically grown at over 20% annually.)

We could all take a cue…  the market’s unlikely to rebound as quickly as the media predicts– and even then, growth prospects are significantly diminished.  This is not to say one shouldn’t invest, but if you don’t understand what you’re investing in, maybe you should think harder about parting with your hard-earned cash.

If the Oracle of Omaha can state his six acquisition criteria in plain language that any layperson could understand, it’s worth forcing your financial advisor (if you even use one) to explain your investments similarly.  Better yet, fire them and do your own diligence.  If Buffett admits that he won’t invest without understanding the technology, do you really think it makes sense for others to do so?

*ACQUISITION CRITERIA*

We are eager to hear from principals or their representatives about
businesses that meet all of the following criteria:

(1) Large purchases (at least $75 million of pretax earnings unless the
business will fit into one of our existing units),

(2) Demonstrated consistent earning power (future projections are of no
interest to us, nor are “turnaround” situations),

(3) Businesses earning good returns on equity while employing little or no
debt,

(4) Management in place (we can’t supply it),

(5) Simple businesses (if there’s lots of technology, we won’t understand
it),

(6) An offering price (we don’t want to waste our time or that of the seller
by talking, even preliminarily, about a transaction when price is unknown).

And to sum it up?

“Success in investing doesn’t correlate with I.Q. once you’re above the level of 125. Once you have ordinary intelligence, what you need is the temperament to control the urges that get other people into trouble in investing.” (BusinessWeek interview, June 25 1999)

Still true a decade later…  they don’t call him the Oracle for nothing.

What’s your favorite piece of investment advice?

They’d probably look something like this:

Images from Tesla Motors.

Drool.  How gorgeous is that?   Production’s slated for 2011, at which point my current car will be 12 years old…  I feel like that warrants an upgrade.

The price tag’s a little steep at close to $60k (not including tax credits that may or may not exist when the car actually becomes available).  However,  it’s targeted at the luxury market, and equipped as such.  0-60 in under 6 seconds?  Yes please!  100% torque, all the time?  Bring it on!!!  Suddenly the price tag sounds more reasonable.  This is not your grandmother’s Prius, girl.

I love the sleek styling, and hey, it fits 5 adults + 2 kids, with a range of 160-300 miles per charge, so that’s definitely functional.  The rear hatch opens up to allow transportation of a 50″ flatscreen TV, a surfboard, or a mountain bike (front wheel still attached) in the cargo area.  All in all, much more practical than the $100k Roadster which resembles the Lotus Elise.  (For more specs and pretty pictures, check out Wired’s coverage of the Model S unveiling.)

Obviously, buying a car is a very personal choice– some people are all about the form, some are all about the function, and some want the best of both worlds.

Why is this the vehicle I’ve targeted?

1. I want my next vehicle to be an electric or hybrid car.

Given that I am in a financial position to pay a slight premium for an environmentally friendly vehicle, I am willing to do so.  Yes, when I was a poor student I tried to squeeze every last penny of value out of every purchase, and I’m still very conscious of where I spend my money.  While being good to the planet is not necessarily going to result in any tangible return to myself specifically, I’m ok with paying extra for it so that the air is a little bit cleaner for us all.

2.  I plan on driving my next car for approximately 10 years as well.

This might sound ridiculous to many people, but it’s what works best for my lifestyle.  By planning my purchases carefully, I don’t feel the need to upgrade every few years.  I bought my car used, and paid it off 4-5  years ago.  My cost of ownership is now only routine maintenance, plus gas and insurance!  I love my (old) car and am also happy with the amount I’ve saved.

Note:  if you also have a decade-old car and are thinking about buying a new one, check the status of trade-in incentive legislation– you could save yourself quite a bit of time and money.

A guest post over at Get Rich Slowly and Liz Pulliam Weston at MSN Money both make the case for driving your car for the longest time possible.  For an interactive version, check out Dave Ramsey’s slideshow here.

3.  I want something practical.

This is a corollary to 2, since I’ll likely have kids within the next decade.  My version of practical means 4 doors and plenty of storage, ability to handle well in various  conditions, along with a fairly reliable reputation.  As I live in CA, I don’t have to think too much about snow unless I want to go to Tahoe, and this sedan seems like it’ll fit the bill.  The battery is supposed to last approximately 10 years, and will likely be replaceable when new technology comes out.  Plus, without the requirement of oil changes, etc. the car only needs to be tuned up annually.  Talk about a timesaver!

4.  Style counts!

I’ve got eyes, too… and if you do the research the first time around, and really think about what works for you AND makes you happy, it’s a lot easier to stay happy with your initial pick.   This car may be my future mommymobile, but it’s definitely not going to give off that vibe to everyone I pass on the freeway.   There’s something to be said for unpredictability.

What do you consider when making large purchases?  Would the Model S fit your lifestyle, or not?  Suggestions for anything else I should consider?

Thanks so much for the comments and support!  While my offer wasn’t accepted, I still feel pretty good about it.  And my piggy bank is still intact!

source

First of all, it turns out I was competing against 11 other offers (uh, aren’t we supposed to be in the middle of a recession?!?!).  Funnily enough, after I put in the offer I found out my BF’s parents’ neighbors were also bidding on it for their kids!

My offer (according to the agent) was definitely on the high end and was being considered seriously, which makes me more confident that my valuation perspectives are not totally out of whack.  Although in this market, you definitely have to take things on a case-by-case basis…

The house went to one bidder who put in an offer SUBSTANTIALLY more than everyone else at the 11th hour.  If the premium price is worth it to them, that’s great, and I don’t mind losing out at a price I’m not willing to pay.

In the end, I’m not out any money, I put in an offer that was fair and gave me a good shot at the property, and I also have the experience of going through that entire process.  Will post on the process prep next week, hopefully.

And now for some Friday goodness:

Why not get in some real entertainment during your surfing around today?  Head on over here to Amazon and sink your teeth into Kristan Hoffman’s excerpt from her Breakthrough Novel entry, The Good Daughters.  Don’t forget to review!  I just wish there was more available…

I’m also eagerly anticipating the release of The Longshot by Katie Kitamura, which was reviewed here.  The weather’s been getting better so I’m spending less time curled up with books inside, but I’m always a sucker for a good read.

Happy weekend, everyone!

So now all I can do is wait.  It’s a weird combo of exhilaration, terror, and i-don’t-want-to-grow-up plus a teaspoon of that’s right beeyotch my savings strategy paid off big time.

Oh, and girls?  No matter how in love you are, I suggest you make large purchases in your own name and/or sock away the funds to do so.  I’m not saying don’t share, but be smart AND sweet; that includes believing in the best but preparing for the worst anyways.  Life is hard for many women who are dependent on others for various things, including money.  Money won’t buy you happiness, but having independence is a wonderful thing.

If I get it, I’ll write about it for sure!

Image source

A 2002 study published by Health Affairs concluded that 40% of premature deaths (before age 75) among Americans are related to detrimental lifestyle practices such as smoking tobacco, lack of exercise, poor nutrition, and obesity.  In comparison, genetics accounted for 30%, socioeconomic inequities 15%, poor medical access 10% and environmental hazards 5%.

It’s no surprise, then, to find that insurance companies may charge patients with several risk factors up to $5,000-$10,000 more per year than patients who have none or few risk factors.  That’s a pretty tangible savings– not to mention the avoidance of possible hospitalizations, which may cost in the tens of thousands of dollars.

Read on for the savings related to various risk factors…

Stop smoking

Try putting the money you would’ve spent on cigarettes into a travel fund, or a donation towards your favorite charity.  Assuming a pack costs $5, a half-pack/day smoker could save about $75/month, or over $900 per year!  Besides the cash on hand, you save the associated healthcare costs to your family and the public.

From Wikipedia:
In 2002, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said that each pack of cigarettes sold in the United States costs the nation more than $7 in medical care and lost productivity. That’s over $2000 per year/smoker. Another study by a team of health economists finds the combined price paid by their families and society is about $41 per pack of cigarettes.

Exercise

You don’t need an expensive gym membership, advanced equipment, or the latest pair of sneakers to get a good workout.  Just take a friend hiking, spend half an hour walking briskly with a family member, or dance around your living room to your favorite tunes!  You’ll get an endorphin boost from the activity and feel better about yourself after exercising, all for free.  A NYT article entitled “You Name It, and Exercise Helps It” talks about the benefits of exercise, especially for chronically ill patients.

If you’re looking for a gym to join, consider the upfront and ongoing fees, as well as your likelihood of sustaining your exercise plan.  I wrote about my considerations in choosing a gym here, and broke down a couple of available options; local YMCAs also offer great programs for reasonable prices.

Eat healthy

Like any other lifestyle modification, changing the way you eat requires time and commitment.  An easy rule of thumb is to stay closest to foods in their natural state.  Processing usually adds more preservatives and additives than necessary.  Read labels carefully to minimize sodium, sugar, and fat; and consider organic produce and hormone-free dairy products, as well as sustainable seafood, meat, and poultry.  Cook at home for dinner and bring leftovers for lunch instead of eating out, and substitute water for sugary drinks.

Both diet and exercise (along with genetic and other factors) are related to obesity, which cost  the US $78.5 billion in 1998, or 9.1% of all medical expenditures.  In 2000, the extra weight of obese passengers cost airlines US$275 million.  Furthermore, obese people may be paid less than their non-obese counterparts for an equivalent job. Obese women on average make 6% less and obese men make 3% less. (Source: Wikipedia)

Total potential savings from just 3 lifestyle modifications? $900, plus a 3-5% bump in salary…  I consider that a pretty good motivator.  Plus, some employers offer monetary incentives for getting healthy, and insurance plan premiums may decrease as well, offering even more savings.

One last point– when to spend now, save later

…especially when it could significantly impact your health!

Don’t ignore symptoms that are persistent, new and/or more serious than normal.

If you’re uninsured, like 46 million Americans, you still have access to care.  Many academic centers with dental and medical schools run free clinics, or provide dental or eye exams for a greatly reduced price.  A list of free clinics by geographic region is available at Free Medical Camps, and you can google “free clinic” plus your location to find additional resources in your area.  (I realize the latter suggestions are not practical for people without computer access, but the readers of this blog don’t fall into that category.)

Buy appropriate, prescribed medications for serious health issues such as diabetes, chronic illnesses, or infections.  Your doctor may be able to suggest less expensive or generic alternatives, but make sure to have that discussion in the office.  Making your own substitutions by relying on Google may result in negative side effects or medication interactions.  Also, don’t try to save by skipping meds, halving doses, or taking old prescriptions from friends.

How do you save and stay healthy?

Image sources: 1, 2, 3, 4

The WSJ crowd is not your typical bargain-hunting set, but the paper’s article on $10-$20 wines may be signaling a sea change.  Go here to check out some RTW value picks that taste a lot pricier than their tag would suggest.

Image courtesy of Ilan Brat / The Wall Street Journal

My next few posts will focus on saving on the BIG things that can make an appreciable difference in lifestyle.  I consider myself fairly frugal with everyday purchases like clothes or groceries, but this is about “shopping” on a much larger scale, resulting in savings of thousands of dollars.

The topic for today:  education.

This recent article in the NY Times just made me laugh–  $500k in Manhattan is the equivalent of barely scraping by?  Well, the lifestyles profiled in the article include thrice-weekly personal trainers, luxurious vacations, private school tuition, etc.  It’s no wonder $500k after taxes goes through their fingers like water!  Here are a few of my thoughts on how they could save at least $100,000 on education alone.

I’d like to point out that the article assumes that the earner is male, and the $500k-limited salary is the sole contribution to the household.  Otherwise, the article would be evaluating budgets of couples who pull in 7 figures combined.  With that in mind, I’ve rolled with those assumptions.

The article cited the following annual costs:

30 weeks of regular tutoring: $3,750

Two children in private school: $64,000

Nanny: $45,000

The above annual costs can be eliminated entirely– and fairly easily.

First, the smaller expenses.  What is the stay-at-home parent doing?  If the household has the luxury of subsisting on a single income, then the non-working parent can contribute by taking care of the children, managing their education, etc.  That eliminates the nanny and tutoring expenditures– almost $50,000 in immediate savings.  Plus, think about the intangible benefits of having an actively engaged parent at home!

Now for the big one:  Private school?  For 12 years?  The easy way out is to switch to public school, but for those who want to keep their kids in private school, it’s definitely possible.

I’ve never attended anything else. Here’s how my parents avoided paying through the nose:  they invested wisely in my education during my early years, and taught me how to think for myself.  In elementary school, I had the benefit of having my mother at home.  While my parents did pay tuition (well under $10,00 annually) for 9 years of elementary school, I attended smaller, less hyped (and less expensive) schools that didn’t have pools and glistening gyms, but instead focused on doing a few things well, like music and foreign language.  That set the tone for the rest of my academic career– somewhat unconventional, but with considerable added value.  Choosing a less expensive private school can net a family significant savings, if they don’t focus on keeping up appearance, but instead consider the real value of an education.

High school: I chose one with tuition costs of $25,000 annually… because I got a full merit-based scholarship.  Not a hard decision, given that my other options would’ve required $10,000+ contributions from my parents.

College: Turned down several Ivies for a well-respected West Coast private school because, well, I got another full ride. I got help with my rent for the first couple years, but worked 2-3 jobs to make myself self-sufficient, and even socked away money in my Roth IRA before I reached voting age.

Side note:  I find it very disappointing that the FAFSA application for federal aid is getting increasingly difficult to comprehend, potentially discouraging lower-income families and students for applying for much-needed aid.

Medical school: No full rides here, but scholarships, financial aid, and smart planning meant my parents never saw a single tuition bill.  I’m in debt to Uncle Sam for 6 figures, but it’s locked in at an interest rate lower than inflation.  No worries there.

If the Manhattanite with a lifestyle similar to that profiled in the article spent time at home with their kids and encouraged them to work hard, they could eliminate over $110,000 from their annual spending.  That’s not an insignificant sum at all.

What would you do with $100,000 a year?  I’d put it towards my house downpayment fund, travel, college education for my (future) kids…

Image from flowforall.org

Hope this gives you a few laughs!

Image courtesy of askmen.com

The text of the original ad:

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

The RTW solution, in three words?

Make seven figures. All those guys making a paltry $500k will be standing in line for you to finance their coke and stripper habit!  (What did you expect?  This is the Renaissance Trophy Wife blog, not the “same old boring trophy wife” blog.  To learn how to distinguish one from the other, see here.)

Another solution: come to SF and help reduce the extensive population of skeezy old men. I don’t think they have names, but they introduce themselves as “Hey I’m a hedge fund trader and I have a boat in the Marina.”  If you head to the Matrix Fillmore and yell that out really loudly, they’ll come running, toupees tumbling off in their haste to get to you.

Another, more lengthy reply that circulated in response to the original ad:

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

So what are your suggestions for the original poster?  and would you buy or lease?